Right Now:

Sometimes when I’m standing in line for Space Mountain I play a sort of meditation game to pass the time. It involves the possibility that somewhere in the world someone or something is the most special of its kind right now. That also means that it’s only in the split second that I say right now that it exists. Then it either is replaced by another or it continues or it ceases to exist etc. It’s usually about the time I get to 10 of them that I say to myself or someone says it to me, “Knock it off”.

Todays “Right Now” is brought to you by Family Dollar and its endless line of people and their nonstop flip flops scuffling and the crazy bluetooth bitches seemingly talking to themselves.

Right now somebody is the smartest person ever.

Right now someone has the most beautiful hair in the world.

Right now one city in the U.S.A. has the worst quality drinking water. (Pensacola)

Right now there is an alternate universe where A.I.D.S. and 9/11 never happened.

Right now there is one banana more delicious than all of the other bananas anywhere.

Right now my right sinus feels like an ice pick has pierced it and into my brain right behind my eyeball.

Right now one man has the largest penis of all the men on the planet.

Right now somewhere in the world there is a woman with the same problem.

Right now you are older than you have ever been.

Right now the Earth is the oldest it has ever been.


About meandirtypirate

I enjoy shelling peas and clipping my nails. Mostly because my nails get dirty from shelling peas. I collect taxidermy and prosthetic limbs/braces, I like drag queens and opera and where they all mingle and twain. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder...or is it...Out of sight is out of mind...I can never remember which"
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10 Responses to Right Now:

  1. LX says:

    A niece of mine worked the checkout counter at a dollar store during high school. I took an item to her and asked her for a price check. She was not amused.


  2. Mitzi says:

    Wherever in the world you happen to be, one thing's for sure, the odd impromptu game certainly helps to pass the time.

    Right now there is a man in his room at the Travel Lodge in Liverpool, masturbating furiously to the 10 minutes of free pornography.

    Right now he has just got to the vinegar strokes when the screen on the TV goes fuzzy and he has to pay if he wants to continue.

    Right now the same man is leering at a print of Pacasso's Les Demoiselles d'Avignon, licking his lips and trying to get re aroused. Les Demoiselles d'Avignon isn't doing much for him,

    Right now he is taking out a five pound note from his wallet and in desperation wanks to the monarch's image, he then flips the fiver over to see a picture depicting Elizabeth Fry and sprays his filthy yoghurt onto her face.


  3. Right now I'm tasting Pensacola water in my mouth from memory


  4. mrpeenee says:

    Right now I'm wishing I had the most delicious banana in the world. Or the guy with the biggest dick. Or both.


  5. ayeM8y says:

    Was it a box of tampons? That reminds me of a joke, Checkout girl, “Earl, I need a price on a box of Tampax.” Earl, “Do you mean the kind you hammer in or the kind you push in with your thumb?”
    Checkout Girl, “Earl I said Tampax not thumbtacks.”


  6. ayeM8y says:

    It has a nasty bitter taste if I remember correctly. I've since switched to bottled water or boiling water with bleach.


  7. ayeM8y says:

    A bit greedy but a wise decision. The banana will be gone but the guy with the biggest dick will still be hanging around.


  8. ayeM8y says:

    Right now there is a vacancy sign at the Travel Lodge in Liverpool that I just rented with a sticky five pound note.


  9. Right now, a guy just shot the freshest load of cum.


  10. mrpeenee says:

    I just wanted to show that I found your wordpress blog. Very butch looking.


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