Dear Diary:

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Dear Diary, I went to New Orleans. I had fun. I stayed in a hotel. It was Halloween. I dressed up. I got drunk. I got mugged. I got raped. I got sick. I threw up. I passed out. I woke up in the trunk of a car. I don’t know where I am. Help me dear diary, help me.

The End

Dear Diary, Really did have loads of fun and wore the most dashing ringmaster costume. A Victorian top hat made from seal skin. A flouncy white shirt with lots of frills and ruffles. A black vest with two dozen buttons. A regal vestment overlay in red and purple velvets and woven metal doohickeys. Black tuxedo trousers with red satin taping. Big black shit kicking boots. A red silk tailcoat. And a wig. Lots of makeup. No pictures.

The End

Dear Diary, Met Jason. He is fun. We drank cocktails at the Golden Lantern. We drank cocktails at Lafittes. We drank cocktails at Good Friends. We drank cocktails at Bourbon Pub. We drank many, many cocktails.

Really we did have a wonderful meeting and talked shop. It’s interesting to meet someone that to this point is a somewhat anonymous commenter on an online diary of sorts, but I’ve come to think of him as a friend. My blog friend, my blog friends, I think is what I kept referring to all of you all. We both have similar blog histories, that of meeting like minded people that share in similar cultural references. But we both agree that blog friends probably know us and visit us more often than our real friends do. How strange.

Meeting Jason was exactly what you would expect. Very friendly, sweet, charming and more attractive than he lets on, with a sparkle. Like his comments and his posts, all very endearing. My imaginary blog friend is now a real live boy.

It all started with Mitzi and Jason. I met Mitzi at Lady Bunny and started to drop by her space and leave comments and vice versa. I met Jason from another blog that we both happen to frequent. I visited Jason and that’s where it all began. I met all of you all through Jason. He’s like a Madame, a blog Madame, a hostess as it were. A great lady and great hostess. And I plan to be a faithful customer to his blog brothel forevermore. Thank you Jason for adding the wonderful culminating experience to my visit.

The End

Dear Diary, I came home to find my wonderful post card from Mistress MJ. On the front is a picture of her enormous brown beaver. What a beaver. Thank you Mistress MJ for being such a great blog friend.

The End

Meeting blog friends and corresponding with them is like the modern day equivalent of pen pals. I watched the television program Big Blue Marble as a child and wrote off for a pen pal. They lived in Singapore and I never understood a single word and finally gave up on it. But the blog friends have had a lasting endurance. We all take breaks from time to time but for the past three years you guys have made a lasting impact on my otherwise dreary life.

The End

So thank you to all my blog friends. I hope one day to meet each and everyone of you.

I like you.

Do you like me?

Circle, Yes or No

The End


About meandirtypirate

I enjoy shelling peas and clipping my nails. Mostly because my nails get dirty from shelling peas. I collect taxidermy and prosthetic limbs/braces, I like drag queens and opera and where they all mingle and twain. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder...or is it...Out of sight is out of mind...I can never remember which"
This entry was posted in Blog Friends:, Halloween:, Today:. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Dear Diary:

  1. MJ says:

    My imaginary blog friend is now a real live boy.

    You’re like Geppetto with Pinocchio!

    Did Jason's nose grow?

    This post has made me all emotional.

    I have to go now and have a good cry.

    Fondling your buttocks might make me feel better.


  2. EmmaK says:

    I adore you and would really like to ravish you sometime in the ringmaster costume.


  3. Mitzi says:

    Yes ayem8y do tell, did you do the dirty down C anal st?


  4. MJ –“Fondling your buttocks might make me feel better.”

    They make for good pillows too. Now get your beaver over here and spoon me.

    Emma K -Welcome stranger. I actually have that tattooed along the backs of my thighs.

    “Would really like to ravish you sometime in the ringmaster costume”

    I prefer ravishing to ravaging as that is what happened to me and my costume in New Orleans.

    Mitzi – “Yes ayem8y do tell, did you do the dirty down C anal st?”

    Oh honey my C anal st. is as sore as my Penis ton st.

    Actually I just installed a turnstile on my hotel window that open out on to the street. There I welcomed the great throngs of costumed revelers and the mad circus performers.

    I need a vacation, but I’m off to Mobile for work related things…if you get my drift…damn I’m sore and workin’ more streets is not getting me closer to my retirement that consists of me, a bare light bulb, a rickety table, a spoon, and a can of cat food.


  5. Augusto says:

    My dear fellow – while I'm sure that I would love to go out with you for cocktails any time. However, I feel compelled to note that your claims of being raped fall on skeptical ears. Have you not read that “You can't rape the willing?”

    Glad you had such good times.


  6. Elizabeth says:

    Yay for Jason and blog friends! He seems like the kind of person who would have a twinkle.


  7. jason says:

    Big Blue Marble!!!!!!!!!!
    I loved loved loved that show!
    (did a post on it myself years ago in fact)

    I sent off for a fabulous foreign pen pal, only to get some straight boy from a farm in Canada.

    Thank God for the internet.


  8. DuPree says:

    I would totally pay for an in-person re-enactment of the neon-colored banana-hammock thong picture – plus any follow on activities.

    Call me. And stop reporting me to the police.

    It's embarassing.


  9. Jill says:

    You crack me up…I'm going to lurk!


  10. larry says:

    i love your blog , mean dirty pirate!!! i want to bear your children( or a reasonable facsimile)


  11. Reavis Eitel says:

    I actually DID get drugged robbed and (well i fucked them first willingly) in new orleans. no joke.

    Thanks for defending my haters in my blog.

    xo r


Snarky Comments

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s